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MIND YOUR MANNERS

Dear Maureen, 

I am over 50 and I appreciate that people don’t observe the same kinds of social customs that I grew up learning. Nevertheless, I find that, even when I TRY to accommodate some of the gaffes in courtesy that I regularly encounter, I am still amazed at the lack of common sense that bad manners demonstrate. For example, the other day I was leaving the foyer of a diner and discovered that the patrons that were entering the diner were so eager to get inside that I was unable to get through the door until fully 9 people (I counted, and they were not all of one party), had brushed past me. Fortunately the 10^th man approaching the door was a gentleman and held the door open for me to exit the premises. Isn’t there some understood rule that people leaving a building take priority over people entering a building?

 Joan

 Dear Joan,

The effects of interacting with rude people are cumulative—a bit like water torture, the constant drip, drip, drip of selfish behavior can wear down the most stalwart among us. Waiting an extra minute to leave a building does seem like a minor infraction, but you’ve probably also had people shouting into their cell phones while in your vicinity, cutting you off in traffic, using profanity within earshot or failing to even smile politely at you when passing you on the street. It’s the “incivility spiral” that will make you crazy over time. Yes, you are absolutely correct. People should step aside when others are leaving an elevator or leaving any public place, but, the new norm seems to be to shove oneself IN before letting someone else OUT. My only advice is to lead by example and continue to be gracious—there ARE other people like you who will appreciate your good conduct and selflessness. 

Maureen@highroadsolutions.com

Editor's Note: Maureen Wild produces this monthly column for UPBEAT NEWS and welcomes your questions. Maureen is a certified etiquette and ethics trainer with credentials from The Protocol School of Washington and The Josephson Institute of Ethics. She has led seminars for many Fortune 500 companies and prominent colleges and universities. Wild has also been active in Meeting Professionals International and is a member of the National Speakers Association. Most recently she has been quoted in The New York Times Sunday business section "O," the Oprah magazine and Self Magazine. Recently, she was certified by the State of NJ to mentor small business owners. Maureen has been interviewed on matters of ethics and etiquette for national television and radio programs. You may reach her at: Maureen@highroadsolutions.com or 908-722-2077. When writing to her, please mention you read about her in UPBEAT NEWS.

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