UPBEAT NEWS - HOMESTYLES

UPBEAT NEWS would like to say a hearty HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads, Granddads, and Great-Grandads(as well as all the Mom's too) with this little "Parent's Job Description" that we received on-line. We hope you will enjoy and pass along.

- PARENT'S JOB DESCRIPTION -

OTHER NAMES: Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa or

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports ournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, omplete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering them frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

E-mail this to all the PARENTS you know, using this link www.myupbeatnews.com/homestyles.htm, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, to let them know they are truly appreciated, or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. HAVE A GREAT FATHER'S DAY.

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			Want to stay on top of the best ideas for cooking and baking? Check out our monthly column: - Mrs.M's KITCHEN DISH - Tips and Advice for Busy Cooks A Bread Machine Worth The Dough If you are a first time bread machine buyer, or looking for a replacement machine, Mrs. M recommends the Zojirushi Home Bakery Supreme Breadmaker BBCC X-20 (est. $199, but search online for good deals). This model produces a 2-pound traditional-shaped loaf. The first bread machines several years ago produced an awkward looking vertical loaf. Horizontal bread pans, like the one found in the Zojirushi, are now more common. The feature that really sells this machine is the Zojirushi's dual paddles. Two paddles are better able to mix and knead loaves. The X-20 features eleven preset cycles for various common types of bread, plus cycles for making dough, sourdough starter/bread, cakes and jam. And there are 3 programmable memory settings for your own personal favorite recipes. You can also adjust the crust color. The Zojirushi has a 13 hour delay timer so fresh bread can be ready when you wake up. Its domed lid is also a favorite feature, as a loaf of bread is less likely to stick to the lid during baking. The Zojirushi beeps to let you know when to manually add in raisins, apples, caraway seeds, or other goodies toward the end of the kneading cycle, taking the guess work out of when to add these items. Other basic features are a convenient, easy-to-use control panel, a large viewing window, an extra-ingredients signal, and a keep-warm function. A quick cycle prepares and bakes bread in under two hours. Mrs. M uses her Zojirushi BBCC X-20 only to knead dough, she hand shapes her dough and bakes in the oven rather than in the machine. But for those who may be intimidated by bread baking, or people with a fast paced lifestyle, a Zojirushi BBCC X-20 is the perfect solution for enjoying fresh baked, home made bread! Visit http://www.zojirushi.com/ourproducts/breadmakers/bbcc_x20.html for more details. Mrs. M’s White Bread 3 cups all purpose flour, King Arthur or Gold Medal recommended 3 tablespoons sugar 1 package active dry yeast, or 2 teaspoons instant yeast, SAF or Fleischmann’s recommended 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup water 1/2 cup milk (whole milk recommended, but low fat or fat free work as well) 4 tablespoons butter Layer the ingredients as recommended for your bread machine. Set your machine for the cycle that kneads and bakes bread. Enjoy! Until next month...Happy Baking! :) Got a baking question? Ask Mrs. M! Questions will be answered in future columns. Just send your question via email to mrs.m@earthlink.net Mrs.M: 908-797-8800 mrs.m@earthlink.net
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			UPBEAT NEWS would like to say a hearty HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads, Granddads, and Great-Grandads(as well as all the Mom's too) with this little "Parent's Job Description" that we received on-line. We hope you will enjoy and pass along. - PARENT'S JOB DESCRIPTION - OTHER NAMES: Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa or Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports ournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, omplete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering them frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right. E-mail this to all the PARENTS you know, using this link www.myupbeatnews.com/homestyles.htm, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, to let them know they are truly appreciated, or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. HAVE A GREAT FATHER'S DAY.
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CHARLOTTE PUERARI Assistant Vice President - Branch Manager