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SIDEBARLaughs

They say "Crime doesn't pay" which is true, but you have to wonder why these inept would-be criminals even tried!

Like the man attempting to hold-up a bank and wrote the stick-up note on the back of HIS OWN deposit slip.

Or how about the couple on a nationally-syndicated court show that questioned the victim in the courtroom: :
"Well, If you knew we were liars and thieves, why did you trust us with your property?"

Or the guy went into the bank, handed a teller a stickup note, only to be told to wait for the next available teller, which he did patiently-stocking mask and all-until the police called his number and let him away in handcuffs.

Or the color-blind counterfeiter who made BOTH sides of the bogus bills the same color?

and our personal favorite...the man who broke free from police and led them on a 30 block chase through the city streets. When the suspect came to a dead-end he scaled the tall fence...only to find he had just climbed the fence INTO the County Jail!

Have a funny story? Share it with us. Email the editor at UPBEAT NEWS
by clicking here now!

EMPLOYMENT WANTED

BECOME A SECRET SHOPPER! - Great part-time positions are available to shop at major stores and restaurants in the area, then report back their shopping experience. Great way to make extra money for the holidays. Find out more information, visit the website: www.Shop-N-Tell.com.

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PROFESSIONALLY-TRAINED WELDER seeks position in Sussex County, NJ or surrounding area. Background in Ironworking and automotive welding. Contact Ed by sending information to: UPBEAT NEWS, Attention Classified #EJ-08-06, P.O. 894, South Plainfield, NJ 07080-0894

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MARKETING AND PUBLIC RELATIONS PROFESSIONAL -
with extensive work in Non-Profit, Financial, Dental, and Medical fields and Copywriting and Media Relations seeks challenging position with Central NJ or PA firm.

For more information, contact ctrabosh@rc

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VOICEOVER ARTIST AVAILABLE for commercials, phone systems, presentations, announcing, video and film projects. Versatile and professional announcing without expensive agency fees.
bbbbbCall Audio Productions/LipService @ 908-347-6284

The Best Kept Secret
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Middlesex, NJ 08846
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732-356-2444
CATERING
732-537-1788

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SITUATIONS WANTED

MUMMER-STYLE STRING BAND available for Parades, Concerts, and Private Events - Award-winning Salaam Shrine String Band. Call for details, Ky Reed, Business Manager at 908-272-3895 or
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- DJ/NARRATOR -

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